What is Negotiation?
Every human interaction involves negotiation — here's how to do it well.
You negotiate every day — you just don't always call it that.
Negotiating a salary. Deciding where to eat with friends. Convincing a professor to extend a deadline. Splitting household chores. Each involves two or more parties with different preferences trying to reach an agreement.
Negotiation is any process where parties with differing interests communicate to reach a mutually acceptable outcome. The key word is mutually — if one side simply imposes their will, that's not negotiation. It's coercion.
Two Approaches
Distributive negotiation (zero-sum): One side's gain is the other's loss. Haggling over a car price is distributive — every dollar the buyer saves, the seller loses.
Integrative negotiation (value-creating): Both sides can gain by finding creative solutions that address each party's underlying interests. This is the approach taught at Harvard's Program on Negotiation and the one used by professional diplomats.
Most real negotiations have elements of both. Even in a salary negotiation (seemingly distributive), you might create value by negotiating on multiple dimensions: base pay, signing bonus, vacation days, remote work flexibility, title. What costs the employer little might matter a lot to you, and vice versa.